Be Peace for our Children from the Moment of Conception

Wisdom to be shared ---also not mine:)

Let us consider some brave new implications for human development at its very beginning -- conception -- of thought as an organizing principle. Ancient Vedic literature refers to the importance of conception as a moment that both captures and reflects the nature of the consciousness of the parents, and lays that portrait down as a gossamer watermark upon the new being, intangible, yet a lifelong, fundamental organizing principle, underlying everything else -- including DNA.

What an opportunity we have at conception to offer a new physical being thoughts and intention that invite harmonized, healthy organization and growth! This isn't mere hypothesis: neonatologist Jean-Pierre Relier highlights embryological research on very early cellular distribution of IGF (intrauterine growth hormone) receptors, that demonstrates the importance of emotional stability in each of the parents at the time of conception for healthiest development of the embryo and placenta.

In a Cartesian framework, the size of something is related to its importance and significance, and there is the tendency to think, How could anything have a lasting impact so very early, when there is just one or two or twelve cells? But recalling chaos theory's "sensitive dependence on initial conditions," doesn't it make sense that a very positive, or very negative, environmental message would bear the most pervasive influence upon a tiny, emerging system, considering that each cell division will replicate that cell's "knowledge" again and again?

Cell biologist Bruce Lipton's drumbeat of a mantra is, "At every level and every stage of development, there is either love -- and with it, growth -- or fear -- and with it protection and a thwarting of growth." Those cues come from the environment, or more precisely, our perception of the environment -- and this is where our divine nature comes in, via what Joseph Chilton Pearce in The Biology of Transcendence calls our "glorious prefrontal cortex." This is the hardware that runs our consciousness software, you might say! Lipton points out that for a growing embryo or fetus, it is the mother's perception of life, her psychological "atmosphere," that gets downloaded as biochemical and energetic instructions about the world into which it will be born -- a world in which to thrive or survive.

Rudolf Steiner in the early 1900's taught that "During pregnancy, the mother's joy and pleasure are the forces that provide her baby with perfect organs." The latest research proves him prescient. A pregnant mother's state of mind is her baby's entire universe. Her depression or unremitting anxiety (not the occasional stressful days that are simply part of life!) communicates to the baby that it is going to be born into a dangerous environment, and its brain cells adapt to function in an unsafe world. The implications of this for society are immense. Babies of stressed mothers develop unconscious coping and survival skills like hyper-vigilance and hyper-reactivity, and their neural chemical receptors designed to perceive pleasure and contentment suffer decreased sensitivity.

A vicious cycle can begin early and spiral insidiously downward as the child grows: the baby is hard to soothe, which frustrates Mom and Dad; this generates a spectrum of strong feelings within them, which further activates the baby's heightened "antennae" for threat, makes him even more agitated, and may lead to subtle or outright neglect or abuse by exhausted, exasperated parents. With no positive interruption of this negative feedback loop, the child has limited opportunity to internalize the self-regulating capacities developed through healthy attachment; once the toddler is a "handful," there likely are consequences to "make the child mind," punishments whose shame-based action further thwarts peace-oriented brain development, hardwiring it instead to thrive in a threatening world. Later, the child's "impulsivity" gets labeled, and his sense of alienation -- from himself, from others, from Life -- intensifies.

Thus, a pregnant mother's joy is a fundamental prenatal "prescription" for peaceful babies -- and grownups! When joy seems out of reach, it is possible to coax it towards you. Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces for well-being. Smile, say an inner "thank you" for some blessing in your life, breathe mindfully, invite the imagination in, dream noble qualities for your child, envision her luminous unfolding. Joy will likely surface.

Learning is Embedded in Relationship

Building on the foundation of a healthy brain at birth, the critical first three years teach a child -- via her relationships -- myriad important lessons for a healthy self ("I'm effective in the world," "I can trust others to be there for me," and so on.) A child who is securely attached to his parents is deeply motivated to behave in harmony with them. This becomes a positive feedback loop in him which gradually expands outward to include the wider world in the category of "those who matter to me."

Children take our cues about how to treat themselves, others and the environment -- with compassionate care or mindless disregard. We need to embody the peace we want them to manifest one day. Children learn unfortunate lessons of cynicism (a subtle violence) when their parents pleasurably criticize friends, acquaintances, politicians. Choose words that are kind, beautiful, meaningful and clear. Children absorb the inner and outer atmosphere we create.

Be peace for them, from the very beginning.


Excerpted from the upcoming book Rai