New Year's Resolutions: The Two Lists

by Scott Blum

I was fortunate to spend time with an enigmatic man named Robert during a very special period of my life. Robert taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

"Now that you are becoming more aware," Robert said, "you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don't lose the momentum you have built."

"Like New Year's resolutions?" I asked.

"That's an interesting idea," he smirked. "Let's do that."

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

"Tonight's assignment is to make two lists," Robert continued. "The first is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WILL keep. Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper."

That night I went home and spent several hours working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn't gotten in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life. The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next day, I met Robert in front of the local food Co-op, where we seemed to have most of our enlightening conversations. "Tell me about your two lists," Robert said as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

"The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. And the second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead."

"Let me see the second list," he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby garbage can. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but after I calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light. In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

"And now, the first list." Robert bowed his head and held out both of his hands.

I purposefully handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the can without looking at it.

"What did you do that for?!" I couldn't hide my anger any longer.

Robert began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. "What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do."

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:

"Love."

The FEAR Monster

Presently many of my clients are experiencing fear and stress around the failing financial structures! They are wondering if life is unfolding in Divine Order and are struggling with the monster I call FEAR!

As a child, I used to be afraid that monsters were hiding in the closet and under the bed! I would hide under the covers. I would call-in my parents to check. I would know with certainty that evil lurked in the dark and when the lights went back out that those monsters would reappear in the shadows of my room!

Fear is like that monster. We know that monsters don’t really exist and yet, the FEAR Monster is haunting society today and wreaking havoc EVERYWHERE! Where are the MONSTER BUSTERS?

We are each called to slay our own monsters! Whether we are afraid because of finances, partnership, family, love, career or health, our monsters are scary and the tendency is to hide, to run, and/or to deny its existence!

Busting our monsters may need to come in the form of personal power. Standing up to the monster and confronting what the monster is there to teach us! Yet, that is required…to be present and feel that fear and trust that we are not going to be devoured by our emotional body! But that requires trust and surrender! Surrendering to the knowledge that we are more powerful than what we are running from!

Surrender can be scary to most of us! We perceive we are surrendering to the monster and feelings of annihilation surface. Surrender can feel like we are waving the white flag and giving up, giving into something that has the power to consume us! Or we can perceive it as failure or as feeling out of control. Or as powerlessness! Our egos, our minds would prefer that we control life and our circumstances. Our egos cause us to respond in need of self-protection, out of fear!

Many times we try to control the situation---how many of us slept with the light on so the monsters would go away? Did the light on really keep the monsters away? Were we really in control with the lights on? Were we really in our power or trying to waylay our fear when we called turned on the lights or called our parents? Control is an illusionary state. How many times have you divined to act in a certain way or say a certain thing to manipulate the situation to get the outcome you wanted? Or have you even given up control to please others?

Today won’t you ask yourself, “What FEAR monster am I running from?” “What false belief am I clinging to?” Sometimes the tighter that we cling to outcomes, the greater the stirring in the universe to shatter our illusions that we can dictate the outcome of our lives!

Control is a type of resistance. Control shuts down our energy field it restricts, tightens our auras! We are not meant to live in this state…We are meant to be EXPANSIVE. We are meant to live in our Greatness. I am not talking about ego-driven greatness, but from the Divine Connection that comes from our heart and the love that we are! It is within this heart space we connect with our Divine Truth and offer our lives to others. It is in this space that there is no attack and no separation! There is nothing to defend and nothing to control, for all is unfolding in divine order.

Remember the movie “Monsters, Inc.”? Boo loved Sulley. It was her love and trust that transformed the Fear Factory.

Does this mean that the FEAR Monster will ever leave completely and that we will never have feelings of separation or doubt or fear or failure? Of course not. But it does mean that in these moments we meet ourselves with loving kindness. No judgment. Allow yourself to be blameless and look beneath the action or reaction to see what precipitated your response. For this is the place where true healing can occur!

We are all being called to be Boo and to live with more conscious awareness--to be fully present in each moment and align with the Divine Consciousness. We are asked to align with our passions and to live purposefully. For it is with boredom that we become complacent and apathetic and thusly, slip into unconsciousness.

The Monsters in Monsters, Inc transformed when they looked at how they were using their power to fulfill the needs of the community! Presently, the Universe is asking us to look at the way we direct our power and accept full responsibility that we consciously co-create our life!

So fulfill the needs in your life with your Divine Heart energy and lovingly connect with love and light that you are! The Fear Monster cannot reside within this space of LOVE!

If my body were my lover, I would

Hey ya'll, Julie is going to be a guest on my show, Humanity101 on BlogTalkRadio! Here is a fabulous article she wrote! I would love for you to share your replies about loving your bodies madly---post a comment! Let's fall in love together.

My Body, My Love © 2008
Julie Jordan Scott

I look at my daughters – beautiful young women who amaze me with their grace and strength physically, emotionally and spiritually - and pray they will not bump into the same body-image-issues I have dealt with my entire life.

I remember as a young woman in my early 20's thinking I was limited in who would find me attractive if I wasn't statuesque and athletic, if I wasn't round enough in the right places and flat enough in other places.

I always seemed to have it backwards as far as my body was concerned.

It took a lot of loving from others and finally, a continual awakening in myself to "live the question" as was lead to write thought these words from the prompt my friend, Morgine provided:

"If my body were my lover, I would…"

For someone used to abhoring her body, this whole concept is foreign – yet as I age and become more comfortable with who I am and perhaps a subtle shift in societal norms says... statuesque and athletic is not the only desirable form.

I was surprised (and delighted) when in the free writing exercise these words came up:

Well, my body has been and is my lover – the one who never leaves me, always forgives me, fully supports me – sweet body love.

Maybe it is this realization that allows me the luxurious necessity of massage, an upcoming pedicure, the simple pleasure of clothing my body in lotion or air drying after a shower underneath the ceiling fan on a warm afternoon its breeze softly skimming my skin or letting my other lover drape himself in all of me, every part of me.

My pencil stops writing as I hold onto those images.

I let it.

Sometimes – no, most of the time, my best loving is done wordlessly.

= = =

My freewriting exercise ended sweetly, quietly and confidently.

My body has become my love.

What about you?

Write your own response to...

"If my body were my lover, I would…"

Activate Your Passion.

Julie Jordan Scott is a Writer, Life Coach, Poet, Speaker, Actor, Director and Mom Extraordinaire whose deepest passion is helping people -like you - discover and live with passion. Call 661.444.2735 to book your complimentary coaching session.

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